We finally had our week off on vacation! Fabulous time...I'll write about that in a bit. Today, I want to vent on the week plus since we've returned.
The day we landed, I drove home and then to work to work on the auto screen printing press that had been broke down for almost 48 hours. Frustrating...of course it waits to break down while I'm on vacation. I don't know if it is bad luck, bad karma or just a freak coincidence. Either way, it is a royal pain in the back-side.
The auto was down with what turned out to be an electrical problem. Having Bob and Lee working on it was comforting on some levels as it was not me out there trying to fiddle with it. Lee is a crafty electrician who has a lifetime of experience to draw from...in the end, it was he who figured out the problem. But, in the time he started on it and the time he fixed it there were numerous phone calls to Georgia, New York, Seattle and somewhere in California along with emails to Georgia and Austria (yes Europe!)
Let me address the total frustration of not having "good" tech support...ARGHHHHHHHHHH. I know people mean well but I truly do not understand the lack of tech support.
During the week, I'd arrive at work to find Lee unpacking his tools in his truck to him arriving shortly after me with another piece of the press electronics he'd taken home to tinker with. I am in awe of people who have the skill and, maybe, more-so the patience to deal with things like this. As most know, my patience level has evaporated a ton over the years so I have a real appreciation of skills that take a high level of thought and patience.
Skipping ahead to Friday morning, I looked up from my desk to see Lee reinstalling the circuit board to Inverter. When I looked up a bit later, the press was running! Looking at Lee, you could see a slightly sly grin that said it all...he'd done it. He'd fixed something that had no manual, diagram or anything. He'd done it by tinkering and patience. I completely respect that.
The auto press is up and running - for now - and will get lots of use this weekend as it runs Lisa's 3,000 unit order. I am always more at ease when the press is running as it is the one tool that keeps my shop alive!
The other issue that caused unrest this week is the revelation that I believe I've been lied to. Someone that I truly considered a great friend and colleague has/had put me in a very uncomfortable position and lied to me about the whole thing. I can't write too much about it but I can confess that it has weighed on me greatly and has become more than exhausting. Obviously this has caused my friend a lot of turmoil - I hear it in his voice and see it in his emails and actions. He's dug himself a large hole and - it isn't that I feel bad for him - I feel very sorry for him. He is a better person than this...or at least I thought so. I'm very disappointed, extremely hurt but mostly just feel sorrowful over all of it. It truly feels like I've lost someone in my life that mattered. They haven't gone away but things will never, ever be the same.
My concern in all of this, outside of losing a close friendship, is that I'll lose the ability to be open and trusting of people (again.) Outside of Lynnell right now (who I am so thankful to have in my life as she is my rock), I struggle to name someone who I can confide in and share life's challenges with. This leaves me with a heartbroken and lost feeling. Now, I didn't confide everything in this friend of mine but he gave me someone who I considered a contemporary and that had a clue about my issues - as I did about his. I have been a sounding board for this person over his years of career moves. We have been able to share so many thoughts, concerns and, certainly, our triumphs over the years. Now, I fear, it'll never be the same. I know he'll want to try to continue this relationship. He, I am sure, will try to continue to make amends and I'm sure I will struggle with it.
I have learned this about myself...it is easy for people to take advantage of me. How is it easy you might ask? Well, I make it easy. I can be very naive - as savvy as I can be about things, I can be equally or more naive. I look to believe in the best of people - I think people are inherently good at heart. Sadly, people and their own agendas have proven me wrong on numerous occasions. Talk about learning lessons the hard way...and sadly, knowing me I'll continue to have to learn these lessons life-long. I refuse to become (any more) jaded and cynical of the human race...at least I will strive to keep the faith that there is good in everyone.
The point was brought up this morning over coffee and breakfast about middle-age. Me being 43, I don't quite think I'm at my half-way point but it does make me think about what is important and what is worth my time I have left in life. To this, I concluded this morning that what IS worth my time are those close to me and those I can truly rely and count on...It is a very short list of people (and dogs) but one that I hold very near and dear to me.
Til next time...
Reflect
American Widgeon
Saturday, June 11, 2011
Tuesday, May 3, 2011
Okay, no more 2 word posts...and visions of vacation dancing in my head
I feel like I can always write a book here but my last entry was short and sweet to say the least. So, the dogs (Dakota and Bosco) destroyed a few Easter Baskets and ALL the chocolate that went in them...ugh! The more I re-think that whole scenario (that initially seemed funny and now so-not-funny), the more it ticks me off.
Today was blood-letting appointment at the Red Cross. So, I gave at 9:30 and by 2:30 I'd hit a huge wall and had to scramble a bit to rehydrate. I don't know how much longer I will have to give blood weekly but by Hemoglobin level was down to 11.6 (and that means they can't keep and use the blood!) If I drop under 11 I can't have blood drawn. Can't say I'd be too disappointed to miss a week.
The closer vacation gets, the more anxious I am to be leaving. Normally I stress over missed work but this time...not so much. I'm looking forward to Zion, Bryce, Arches....just think of all the photo opportunties!! It certainly runs through my head a lot about how I'm going to get near enough quality time in each location to get the shots I dream of!! As Lynnell says, "this trip is like a taste of things to come" meaning she believes Moab and the area will be a place we'll want to visit over and over. Heck, I already know I want to go back when I can get some pics of snow in that landscape. Amazing country for certain.
I had to let one of my employees go late last week. For obvious reasons I can't write to much about it, but let me just say that it was a very hard thing to do. Change, sometimes, can be hard. In this instance, it was both very hard and needed. The team here will take a couple of days to get their feet under them but I have no doubt they'll soar and do great.
Seeing the staff grow, as I have over the last couple of years, is rewarding. Of course other days I say a lot of four-letter words and choice phrases about the merits of owning a small company. It is a wild ride for sure.
One thing that has helped maintain my sanity is Lynnell. We've had a couple of great weekends together that I wouldn't trade for anything. She is my best friend and I am a lucky man...
The other thing that has helped my sanity is getting back to taking pictures and working on my website, http://www.jayhowardphotography.com/. It is a passion that sometimes borders on a sickness/tunnel vision.
I thank God that Lynnell is a picture person too and that she is so encouraging of me in my pusuit of this passion...(but I'm sure there are evenings where she'd like me to step away from the laptop and give her that attention though.) She is the best thing in my life and I'm very thankful. With her, I feel even more like I can accomplish whatever I want.
Til next time...
Today was blood-letting appointment at the Red Cross. So, I gave at 9:30 and by 2:30 I'd hit a huge wall and had to scramble a bit to rehydrate. I don't know how much longer I will have to give blood weekly but by Hemoglobin level was down to 11.6 (and that means they can't keep and use the blood!) If I drop under 11 I can't have blood drawn. Can't say I'd be too disappointed to miss a week.
The closer vacation gets, the more anxious I am to be leaving. Normally I stress over missed work but this time...not so much. I'm looking forward to Zion, Bryce, Arches....just think of all the photo opportunties!! It certainly runs through my head a lot about how I'm going to get near enough quality time in each location to get the shots I dream of!! As Lynnell says, "this trip is like a taste of things to come" meaning she believes Moab and the area will be a place we'll want to visit over and over. Heck, I already know I want to go back when I can get some pics of snow in that landscape. Amazing country for certain.
I had to let one of my employees go late last week. For obvious reasons I can't write to much about it, but let me just say that it was a very hard thing to do. Change, sometimes, can be hard. In this instance, it was both very hard and needed. The team here will take a couple of days to get their feet under them but I have no doubt they'll soar and do great.
Seeing the staff grow, as I have over the last couple of years, is rewarding. Of course other days I say a lot of four-letter words and choice phrases about the merits of owning a small company. It is a wild ride for sure.
One thing that has helped maintain my sanity is Lynnell. We've had a couple of great weekends together that I wouldn't trade for anything. She is my best friend and I am a lucky man...
The other thing that has helped my sanity is getting back to taking pictures and working on my website, http://www.jayhowardphotography.com/. It is a passion that sometimes borders on a sickness/tunnel vision.
I thank God that Lynnell is a picture person too and that she is so encouraging of me in my pusuit of this passion...(but I'm sure there are evenings where she'd like me to step away from the laptop and give her that attention though.) She is the best thing in my life and I'm very thankful. With her, I feel even more like I can accomplish whatever I want.
Til next time...
Monday, April 25, 2011
Saturday, April 23, 2011
Love taking pictures
Today was an "up and at 'em early" day! I hit Ridgefield Wildlife Refuge before 7 a.m. this morning and stayed until about noon! Great light for pictures!!!
This is a Cinnamon Teal Drake and he was real sharp looking in the morning sun.
Breakfast anyone? This piece of water/marsh is a consistant place for me to find Herons.
And here is another Cinnamon Teal Drake - I really saw quite a few of them today. Beautiful birds.
This guy was doing barrel rolls taking a bath. The one thing I love about photography versus hunting is I get a lot more time snapping pictures to observe. You would be amazed at some of the things you can witness -->
And here is another Cinnamon Teal Drake - I really saw quite a few of them today. Beautiful birds.
I'll add more later. What a great day and I get to try it again tomorrow morning too.
Til next time...
Monday, April 18, 2011
one of 'those' days
You know the type of day...unmotivated, dearly needing to be but just can't muster up the focus. Ugh. Just brewed a pot of Dunkin Donuts coffee - yes it is 11 a.m. but I skipped it this morning and while this isn't the reason I'm sluggish, it can't hurt.
So, I'm donating blood once per week for my Hemochromatosis. After four sessions I think it is catching up to me. Honestly, I felt pretty good physically prior to giving blood. Workouts were good, I had energy and my mood was markedly better. Nothing has changed in my world outside of blood letting once per week. I really dislike being a whiner but I caught myself last night whining about not feeling good. I felt so blah I was in bed by 8:30 I think.
I have another appointment tomorrow and then 4 more before leaving for Vegas/Utah/Arizona for 7 days (Yeah!) I'll miss two donation appointments and I'll be very curious to see if I rebound any in that time. I'm even more curious to learn how I'll be feeling between now and the time Lynnell and I leave.
Okay, now for a brighter note - spent the day with Lynnell and her girls (Tici and Deza) yesterday. We did a little retail therapy. Shoes for Deza, Lynnell (3) and me (2). I think we single-handely helped Merrell's monthly bottom line. LOVE their shoes! I even picked up a shirt there for the trip (okay, it was a gift from Lynnell.) Oh and the shirt I got her from White House/Black Market (??) looked amazing on her. Red is certainly her color. When she hesitated at spending what the price tag said, I popped right up and said that looks to good on you to not get it. Anyway, it was a good day followed up with PF Changs for dinner. Yum.
Columbia Sportwear has some fun looking tent-pole backpacks. Lynnell picked up one for our trip to Utah. I'll be very curious on how it works.
Work is busy, my staff is buzzing around at the screen print shop. A set-back on Hevi-Shot is a learning experience for me and the staff. We'll have it up and running by end of week I'm sure. This is one project where the larger press would come in very handy!
Okay, 1.5 cups of coffee down and while I may have a tad more zip, I still have no motivation. I sure hope I'm not coming down with a bug (doubt it but what do I know right?!?!)
Lynnell is home and I'll leave pretty soon for home to hang out with her. Her "go-live" this month has tired her out pretty good and kept her fairly pre-occupied. I would love nothing more than to sweep her off to someplace sunny, with a beach and a fruity drink for a couple of days...however, warm will have to wait for Vegas/Utah/Arizona.
I am really looking forward to Arches. I'm sure I'll take a ton of pictures! And being there with Lynnell on her Birthday will be wonderful.
Til next time...
p.s. My friend Cory just hit me with this article about former Winterhawks coach Brent Peterson. Time to get my butt in gear and pick up the pace! Great article and thanks Cory...perfect timing.
So, I'm donating blood once per week for my Hemochromatosis. After four sessions I think it is catching up to me. Honestly, I felt pretty good physically prior to giving blood. Workouts were good, I had energy and my mood was markedly better. Nothing has changed in my world outside of blood letting once per week. I really dislike being a whiner but I caught myself last night whining about not feeling good. I felt so blah I was in bed by 8:30 I think.
I have another appointment tomorrow and then 4 more before leaving for Vegas/Utah/Arizona for 7 days (Yeah!) I'll miss two donation appointments and I'll be very curious to see if I rebound any in that time. I'm even more curious to learn how I'll be feeling between now and the time Lynnell and I leave.
Okay, now for a brighter note - spent the day with Lynnell and her girls (Tici and Deza) yesterday. We did a little retail therapy. Shoes for Deza, Lynnell (3) and me (2). I think we single-handely helped Merrell's monthly bottom line. LOVE their shoes! I even picked up a shirt there for the trip (okay, it was a gift from Lynnell.) Oh and the shirt I got her from White House/Black Market (??) looked amazing on her. Red is certainly her color. When she hesitated at spending what the price tag said, I popped right up and said that looks to good on you to not get it. Anyway, it was a good day followed up with PF Changs for dinner. Yum.
Columbia Sportwear has some fun looking tent-pole backpacks. Lynnell picked up one for our trip to Utah. I'll be very curious on how it works.
Work is busy, my staff is buzzing around at the screen print shop. A set-back on Hevi-Shot is a learning experience for me and the staff. We'll have it up and running by end of week I'm sure. This is one project where the larger press would come in very handy!
Okay, 1.5 cups of coffee down and while I may have a tad more zip, I still have no motivation. I sure hope I'm not coming down with a bug (doubt it but what do I know right?!?!)
Lynnell is home and I'll leave pretty soon for home to hang out with her. Her "go-live" this month has tired her out pretty good and kept her fairly pre-occupied. I would love nothing more than to sweep her off to someplace sunny, with a beach and a fruity drink for a couple of days...however, warm will have to wait for Vegas/Utah/Arizona.
I am really looking forward to Arches. I'm sure I'll take a ton of pictures! And being there with Lynnell on her Birthday will be wonderful.
Til next time...
p.s. My friend Cory just hit me with this article about former Winterhawks coach Brent Peterson. Time to get my butt in gear and pick up the pace! Great article and thanks Cory...perfect timing.
Friday, April 15, 2011
another first...
This feels wierd a bit. I mean, I've written lots of things in my life - even some journals - but never a blog.
What has gotten into me? Why a blog...? Good question. I'm inspired, partly, by Lynnell who has a blog and writes so beautifully. And partly by the fact that I will have to blog for work and that'll have to be pretty vanilla - and I'm more chocolate with chocolate chips added. So, here I am feeling my way through it all...much like wandering in the dark from the bathroom back to bed at 3:30 in the morning.
So many things to write...but lost as to where to start. I could start off with my "renter" situation that currently has me peeved. Or, I could write about work and how "tired" I am of "things." Then again, I could write about my love of photography and how much I've missed it lately. I could also write about my love and future, Lynnell. Simply stated, she's changed my life for the better and I will always be grateful and will always feel the butterflys around her. Or, how I have some great kids who keep me young - yet still seem to contribute to my gray hair :-).
I think with this first post, I'll write about my Mom. We lost her February 12 of this year. She had only just turned 65 and had retired. My gut feeling is her body realized she didn't have to get up and go to work anymore and decided it was done.
Emphysema is what took her in the end. It was incredibly sad to witness her lying in bed at the hospital for the four days I was there. With the whole family there (Dad, Matt & Chris, their wives and Lynnell), there were lots of tears and laughs and of course stories. From Mom hollering for us with her patened Woo-Hooo to the "look" when you were in trouble to her lasagne and huge garden in Yankton...good times.
I think of her often. I think of Dad on the Pennisula, alone in the house, missing her. It is a big change for him but I'm proud of him--he seems to be holding his own (I think he's got great friends at the beach who help him!)
The other day, Wednesday I think, driving home I had an incredibly sad moment. I had 'had a day' and was going call Mom to chat, as I did from time to time in situations like these. I picked the phone and just then realized she wasn't there to call. It was a lonely moment...However, instead of pissing and moaning about it I just called Dad and had a good short conversation. I don't know what I'll do when he is gone...but I'm not thinking that way today. I am very thankful I still have one of my parents with me.
Okay, from what I understand a blog is short, quick thoughts and I certainly feel like I've written a short book in this first attempt. I'm sure I'll be here often...then again, maybe not.
My gut is I'll be here talking about life, family and hopefully a lot of photography.
Til next time...Jay
What has gotten into me? Why a blog...? Good question. I'm inspired, partly, by Lynnell who has a blog and writes so beautifully. And partly by the fact that I will have to blog for work and that'll have to be pretty vanilla - and I'm more chocolate with chocolate chips added. So, here I am feeling my way through it all...much like wandering in the dark from the bathroom back to bed at 3:30 in the morning.
So many things to write...but lost as to where to start. I could start off with my "renter" situation that currently has me peeved. Or, I could write about work and how "tired" I am of "things." Then again, I could write about my love of photography and how much I've missed it lately. I could also write about my love and future, Lynnell. Simply stated, she's changed my life for the better and I will always be grateful and will always feel the butterflys around her. Or, how I have some great kids who keep me young - yet still seem to contribute to my gray hair :-).
I think with this first post, I'll write about my Mom. We lost her February 12 of this year. She had only just turned 65 and had retired. My gut feeling is her body realized she didn't have to get up and go to work anymore and decided it was done.
Emphysema is what took her in the end. It was incredibly sad to witness her lying in bed at the hospital for the four days I was there. With the whole family there (Dad, Matt & Chris, their wives and Lynnell), there were lots of tears and laughs and of course stories. From Mom hollering for us with her patened Woo-Hooo to the "look" when you were in trouble to her lasagne and huge garden in Yankton...good times.
I think of her often. I think of Dad on the Pennisula, alone in the house, missing her. It is a big change for him but I'm proud of him--he seems to be holding his own (I think he's got great friends at the beach who help him!)
The other day, Wednesday I think, driving home I had an incredibly sad moment. I had 'had a day' and was going call Mom to chat, as I did from time to time in situations like these. I picked the phone and just then realized she wasn't there to call. It was a lonely moment...However, instead of pissing and moaning about it I just called Dad and had a good short conversation. I don't know what I'll do when he is gone...but I'm not thinking that way today. I am very thankful I still have one of my parents with me.
Okay, from what I understand a blog is short, quick thoughts and I certainly feel like I've written a short book in this first attempt. I'm sure I'll be here often...then again, maybe not.
My gut is I'll be here talking about life, family and hopefully a lot of photography.
Til next time...Jay
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)