broken machines and people

We finally had our week off on vacation! Fabulous time...I'll write about that in a bit. Today, I want to vent on the week plus since we've returned.

The day we landed, I drove home and then to work to work on the auto screen printing press that had been broke down for almost 48 hours. Frustrating...of course it waits to break down while I'm on vacation. I don't know if it is bad luck, bad karma or just a freak coincidence. Either way, it is a royal pain in the back-side.

The auto was down with what turned out to be an electrical problem. Having Bob and Lee working on it was comforting on some levels as it was not me out there trying to fiddle with it. Lee is a crafty electrician who has a lifetime of experience to draw from...in the end, it was he who figured out the problem. But, in the time he started on it and the time he fixed it there were numerous phone calls to Georgia, New York, Seattle and somewhere in California along with emails to Georgia and Austria (yes Europe!)

Let me address the total frustration of not having "good" tech support...ARGHHHHHHHHHH. I know people mean well but I truly do not understand the lack of tech support.

During the week, I'd arrive at work to find Lee unpacking his tools in his truck to him arriving shortly after me with another piece of the press electronics he'd taken home to tinker with. I am in awe of people who have the skill and, maybe, more-so the patience to deal with things like this. As most know, my patience level has evaporated a ton over the years so I have a real appreciation of skills that take a high level of thought and patience.

Skipping ahead to Friday morning, I looked up from my desk to see Lee reinstalling the circuit board to Inverter. When I looked up a bit later, the press was running! Looking at Lee, you could see a slightly sly grin that said it all...he'd done it. He'd fixed something that had no manual, diagram or anything. He'd done it by tinkering and patience. I completely respect that.

The auto press is up and running - for now - and will get lots of use this weekend as it runs Lisa's 3,000 unit order. I am always more at ease when the press is running as it is the one tool that keeps my shop alive!

The other issue that caused unrest this week is the revelation that I believe I've been lied to. Someone that I truly considered a great friend and colleague has/had put me in a very uncomfortable position and lied to me about the whole thing. I can't write too much about it but I can confess that it has weighed on me greatly and has become more than exhausting. Obviously this has caused my friend a lot of turmoil - I hear it in his voice and see it in his emails and actions. He's dug himself a large hole and - it isn't that I feel bad for him - I feel very sorry for him. He is a better person than this...or at least I thought so. I'm very disappointed, extremely hurt but mostly just feel sorrowful over all of it. It truly feels like I've lost someone in my life that mattered. They haven't gone away but things will never, ever be the same.

My concern in all of this, outside of losing a close friendship, is that I'll lose the ability to be open and trusting of people (again.) Outside of Lynnell right now (who I am so thankful to have in my life as she is my rock), I struggle to name someone who I can confide in and share life's challenges with. This leaves me with a heartbroken and lost feeling. Now, I didn't confide everything in this friend of mine but he gave me someone who I considered a contemporary and that had a clue about my issues - as I did about his. I have been a sounding board for this person over his years of career moves. We have been able to share so many thoughts, concerns and, certainly, our triumphs over the years. Now, I fear, it'll never be the same. I know he'll want to try to continue this relationship. He, I am sure, will try to continue to make amends and I'm sure I will struggle with it.

I have learned this about myself...it is easy for people to take advantage of me. How is it easy you might ask? Well, I make it easy. I can be very naive - as savvy as I can be about things, I can be equally or more naive. I look to believe in the best of people - I think people are inherently good at heart. Sadly, people and their own agendas have proven me wrong on numerous occasions. Talk about learning lessons the hard way...and sadly, knowing me I'll continue to have to learn these lessons life-long. I refuse to become (any more) jaded and cynical of the human race...at least I will strive to keep the faith that there is good in everyone.

The point was brought up this morning over coffee and breakfast about middle-age. Me being 43, I don't quite think I'm at my half-way point but it does make me think about what is important and what is worth my time I have left in life. To this, I concluded this morning that what IS worth my time are those close to me and those I can truly rely and count on...It is a very short list of people (and dogs) but one that I hold very near and dear to me.

Til next time...